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I AM NOT A BOT!

Mid-February 2019


On this cloudy chilly morning, I sat down at the breakfast table to go through my paces, the daily routine of waking up the brain for the day. Waking up the brain for the day is not always an easy process for me. I often do my best thinking before I get up in the morning.


The stage was set with the lighting of the fragrance-candle from Linnea’s Lights in Earl Grey, but I’d noticed whilst lighting the two wicks that the wax level is getting very low. I decided to purchase another candle from this online company.


My breakfast was being served to me by dear Dear Husband, a large cup of Scottish Breakfast tea with milk and two thin slices of toasted ciabatta bread with a thin layer of cream cheese. I thought the purchase order would be quick and easy. It’s online ordering, is it not?

Mr. BOT then emerged from within the shadows of the shopping platform.


I’d forgotten that I’d made an account with this online business, and so I oh-so-foolishly attempted to create an account. Horrors of horrors! I was thereby deemed by the BOT-Detective as someone trying to create a new account and She already has one.


The lovely images to select to prove that I am not a BOT began to appear, much too quickly for my half-awake brain.


But I persevered.


Hmmm. Cars. Okay. There’s one, and another one. A Jeep is technically not a car. What should I do?


Maybe I’ve been watching too many Matlock episodes lately (See Matlock Merriment). More likely, this brain-freeze on my part is part of my highly honed mental compare-and-contrast that makes me a lousy test taker for Multiple Choice. I know 2 of the 5 possible answers are throwaways, but I can make a case for the other 3 choices. Other students whipped to the end of the test. I was there weighing the pros and cons for each of the final 2 contestants for the filled-in bullet.


I went with the Jeep as a car. The Cross-Walks then appeared. New images upon selected images popped up. Okay, I’m done with them.

How about Stop Lights? The halved-ones looked very weird in this grid of onslaught pix.


Store Fronts, anyone?? I must say that these retail establishments are in the worst parts of town!


I made it through the Bot Gauntlet, but, by that time, my breakfast was getting cold, and I told Linnea’s Lights online:


“Time’s up. I’m eating breakfast now.”


I closed my laptop and heartily enjoyed the toast and tea. So much so that I forgot to give Chance the Royal Beagle his little bite of crust. I blame the BOT selection process for this act of Animal Cruelty.

Progressing to re-open the laptop, I attempted to return to the candle website but — NO INTERNET. Oh, that’s right. Closing the lid cuts off My Hotspot. I then checked my me-Phone and cleared the deck of incoming e-mails to “streamline” the connection process.


I discovered an Account Reset email, but I also discovered that Apple had put into JUNK the message from the selling platform about the resetting of my password at Linnea’s Lights to prove that I am not, in digital fact, a BOT.


There were 2 other emails in the Inbox: Account Confirmation, and Account Activation.


I’m alive!

Back to the laptop to connect it with My Hotspot. Oops, I accidentally picked DOGFACE (slip of the index finger!) and I need a password to access that connection! Sorry, Mr. Dogface. I meant to finger-tap my me-Phone.


There, liftoff!


My purchase of the Light Reserve Earl Grey (Dark Reserve was all sold out) and Dark Reserve Fig Cyprès (which is correct in the French) is now complete. I feel better about this situation, dont’ you?!


And after my physical workout, I will be fully ready to write, not robotically either!