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Pizza Patrol


This crisp October morning I read in the Digital News that the legal ghouls in gory newe England have “proposed” calorie caps for pizza. Burgers and soup will also be subject to the socialized stomach in the United Kingdom which, judging by the looks of this lunacy, is really coming apart.


Soup and sandwich: out! Pies too. Those 4 and 20 blackbirds will have to find a new home and a new counting house. The fate of the Yorkshire pasty hangs in the caloric balance.

At least President Nixon stuck to his wage-and-price controls. For me, adolescence was hard enough, but for the President of the United States to announce his latest socialized scheme on my birthday — annually — was going too far!


Forget about Watergate!


And I think that the Democrats in these United States would have turned their genetically programmed blind eyes to that series of slimy stupidities if only Tricky Dick had gone far enough with his funding of the Welfare State. If he’d nationalized just one industry, why, just think of the advancements toward Marxist Gomorrah that America could have made by 1984!


The National Health Service is behind this latest symbolic surrender of the British government to minutiae within the Sceptered Isle while, at the same time, they bungle the holy mess of crime, murder, and misrule on all Home Fronts. The British government has made a real dog’s dinner of their nation! Their fetish to “control” the pointless has a point: it’s in inverse proportion to their ability to DO anything effective about the madness that surrounds them.

In the midst of their chaos, their socialized medicine system has collapsed. If you think the crumbling is only of late, or even within the past two decades or so, think again.


The thing never really got off the ground. I provide the evidence of 1 witness provided in “Witness for the Prosecution”. This 1957 film was directed by Billy Wilder (and based on the stage play by English mystery writer Agatha Christie) — a full decade after the legal establishment of socialized medicine (“single-payer”) in the United Kingdom. One witness of evidence for the defense is Janet MacKenzie, portrayed by Uma O’Connor, the always-delightful and punchy character actress.


Her testimony in defense of the murderer (played by Tyrone Power) is torn to shreds because the dear can’t hear. She has not been able to get her hearing aid device from the health service. Lord knows she tried!

Calories in food are not the problem with the people of England. Yes, the citizens are depressed as heck, and food can indeed be a comfort against the creepy awareness that they are doomed because of cowards in Parliament, cowards in cop suits, and cowards in charge of the cities and shires in England.


The pizza patrol may one day turn around and bite the pepperoni that refuses to protect England, Scotland, and Ireland and even Wales. I’ve faith in the people of the UK that once their backs are up enough against the wall, they’ll fight and never give up, never give in, and never surrender to fascists, frauds, and food-nazis.

Millwall leads the way in more than football.


As for me, I am going to bake some Fat Rascals, in commiseration with some friends in England, before those scrumptious buns are bombarded out of existence by the blinking bureaucrats.