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The Corporate Cookie Crumbles

28 March 2022

Grocery shopping is, of course, and, of late, a shock to the systems: financial, emotional, moral, and culinary. Today, I decided that the Corporation, which is always wrong, has crumbled, along with the corporate cookie.

I shall have to do a bit more cookie-baking in the name of saving . . . a lot. Not just dollars and cents, but my sense of sanity, my sense of propriety, my sense of humanity, my sense of humor, and my sense of taste.

The rainy day here in my locale called for a nice batch of yummy and healthful cookies.

Yes, healthful!!

Healthy is a word for a living entity, whereas healthful refers to the non-living object. I am not a biologist, just a cook, and a woman, a womanly cook, who has studied biology, at the university level. I can therefore attest to the dead aspect of any food that crosses my table, and my palate. Eating living creatures is not part of my household or personal cuisine.

A sugar supply-chain “issue” might be the next looming privation to be blamed on Tsar Vladimir Putin. Soon, We Americans shall be hectored by the Federal and Corporate Nutrition Nazis, in league once again with each other, that We Americans eat too much sugar anyway!

My cookies are not sugar-free. The recipe provided herein has, however, had the sugar content reduced by about one third of the amount given in the original recipe, one that I copied it down about a decade ago. I’ve also tweaked a few of the ingredients since Spice Jungle entered my culinary life last spring.

While preparing the dry components, I used a small food chopper to semi-pulverize the whole almonds. First, I placed the cup of nuts into the chopper-cup, carefully secured the top onto the chopper, plugged it in, and then firmly pushed the Pulse button.

Absolutely nothing happened. I tried once more. Dear Husband walked over to me at the kitchen island. He picked up the blade that I’d washed and dried after chop-pulsing the oatmeal.

“Shut up,” I requested.

Dear Hubby was laughing too hard to be silenced. In my own wifey defense, I declared that during the edged-weapon processing of these almonds, no blade was used, strictly for safety purposes. Cal-OSHA regulation.

The Official Fun & Food Fascists lurk everywhere, waiting to declare an emergency, crisis, or shortage yet again, in the name of health, safety, and whatever else they’ve bungled big-time, time and time again.

The big-time treat of home-made cookies really cannot be regulated, although I do suggest eating just 2 a day, with a cup of tea.

Chocolate Chip Almond Cookies

1/2 cup old-fashioned oats

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 cup spelt

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 cup unsalted butter, at room temp

1/4 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 drops almond extract

1 cup almonds, chopped (in winter, hazelnuts can be substituted)

1 bag (12-ounce) dark semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Line the baking sheet with parchment paper. Chop the oats in a chopper, or small food processor. Transfer the oats to a medium bowl. Mix in the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Set aside.

Using an electric mixer, beat the butter and sugars in a large bowl until fluffy. Beat in the eggs, vanilla and almond extract. Add the flour mixture and stir just until blended. Stir in the nuts and the chocolate chips.

For each cookie, drop 1 rounded tablespoon of dough onto the sheet; do not flatten the dough. Bake until the cookies are golden, about 15 minutes. Cool them on a rack completely.

Makes about 3 dozen.


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